"MOSCOW (Reuters) - President Bush telephoned Russian President Vladimir Putin (news - web sites) Tuesday to discuss latest developments on Iraq, the Kremlin said. Bush used the hotline to Putin on the eve of a crucial speech..."
- from Yahoo!
PUTIN: [inaudible]... Um, hello?
BUSH: Pooty-poot?
PUTIN: Huh? George?
BUSH: How ya doin'?
PUTIN: But... [inaudible]... What are you doing with calling at this hour?
BUSH: What're you talking about? It's the middle of the day, P.P.!
PUTIN: Not here it is not.
BUSH: Not readin' you there, Poot. Is this some kinda Star Trek wormhole thing? Like you're traveling back in time, and I'm goin'... no wait, it'd be you tra-
PUTIN: Nevermind. I am now awake. What is it you are calling about?
BUSH: Well, you know... Iraq. I was kinda wonderin' if you're ready to say it was, like, okay for us to go in and attack now.
PUTIN: No.
BUSH: Okay, gotcha. [pause] How 'bout now?
PUTIN: No.
BUSH: Now?
PUTIN: George, please be stopping with that. I have told you, we would like to be seeing some more of the inspections, or at least some evidence of weaponry or obstruction.
BUSH: Right. But the thing is, we'd really like to invade pretty soon.
PUTIN: I know. I wish I could help more. My people, though, my advisors...
BUSH: It's just not fair, that's all.
PUTIN: There there, George. Be looking on the bright side - tomorrow is your Mr. Powell's big speech, no? Probably he will present enough evidence for us to justify the war. You have said there is much evidence, no?
BUSH: Yeah, about that... [inaudible]
PUTIN: What?
BUSH: Well, what if - now remember, this is all hypnothetimal here - but what if the evidence Collie lays down is more like... um...
PUTIN: What are you saying?
BUSH: Well, more like evidence of evidence, y'know?
PUTIN: No, I am not knowing this.
BUSH: Well, I mean, it's good evidence, from what I've seen! But some people might call it, uh, circumcisional.
PUTIN: Are you talking about not having the smoking gun satellite photos and documents that you have been with the promising of?
BUSH: No! We have 'em! We got the satellite stuff and documents. They're just more like, more like...
PUTIN: Yes?
BUSH: ... artist's renderings, kinda. Would that be good enough?
PUTIN: What? Of course not.
BUSH: They're really good. With all the right perspectivication and stuff. I mean, it looks just as real as like, remember when in "The Two Towers" that guy with the beard is falling with that firey whippy guy, right? And then the fire guy's all like-
PUTIN: Enough! I am be going back to the sleep now.
BUSH: So, um, does that mean you'd back an attack now?
PUTIN: No.
BUSH: Fine, fine, that's your choice. [pause] How 'bout now?
PUTIN: Good night, George.
BUSH: Now? Was that a yes?
PUTIN: [inaudible]
BUSH: Hello? Pooty-poot? What, are you just gonna nap all day? No wonder those pesos of yours aren't worth anything! Hello?
[end transcript]
Posted by Adam Felber at February 4, 2003 02:07 PMToo funny!
Posted by: Tuesday on February 4, 2003 05:17 PM"hypnothetimal" The absolute best Bushism (or is it Bushonics??) ever!
Love the whole concept of Artists Renderings.
Great stuff
Posted by: on February 4, 2003 07:25 PMHigh-larious!!!
Is the Shrub making scatological comments or does he always address Putin as pee-pee and poot-poot?
Bizarrely enough, W's nickname for Putin is indeed "Pooty Poot."
(But what can you expect from a man who calls one of his advisors "Turd Blossom"?!)
I feel it once again...today I was doing a keyboarding excercise in class and one of the questions we had to answer was the name of the president...it was painful to admit it...
Posted by: small child on February 4, 2003 10:24 PMGods, I suddenly have this image of Bush going up to give a speech with the Picture Pages pen. "OK, now this stick figure here is representable of Saddam Hussein... and these round things, why they're anthrax sporicles which he's keeping in *air quote* 'securitate locations'..."
Posted by: Chris on February 4, 2003 10:54 PMPicture pages would be an improvement. I heard he WAS going to use an Etch-A-Sketch.
Posted by: dee on February 4, 2003 11:10 PMYeah but the Picture Pages has its own problem since the pen will actually be a real-time audience approval meter. Bush will be able to tell by looking at the pen's face to tell how he's doing and when it's time to change the subject. If it starts to frown too much he can just start talking about how he's going to do something about all those aides in Africa (they should just go home) and hydrogen cars (that one makes him giggle because who could drive air?)
Posted by: Chris on February 4, 2003 11:29 PM"Circumcisional" evidence?? Great concept!
We might be better off if the Shrub received a Prefrontal Cranial Circumcision.
He's obviously already experienced an Anal/Cranial Inversion.
Dear Adam,
During my recent State of My Household address, I designated the White House, the Congress and the U.S. Supreme Court, "The Clusterfuck of Evil." It got high marks from home pundits, and my approval ratings shot up a solid 10 points. I'm thinking about invading and demilitarizing D.C., but my pussy giant-white-assed republican-guard-loving neighbors won't help. What should I do?
Thanks,
Pissed off in The Heartland
Loved that....brilliant skit...and the smoking gun photo in the spot above was delicious...just wrote a letter to Colin on my humor blog...www.brianlewandowski.com...would be honored if you read it Adam!
you encapsulimate our president so well!
Posted by: Mark on February 6, 2003 11:27 AMI posted a comment a couple of days ago, and it never appeared here. Oh, well, the comment didn't have much scintle -- I was just grousing about the weasels in toad-hall.
Oh, and my personal information doesn't automatically appear in this area -- this comment area.
Is this unusual?
Posted by: Ishmael on February 8, 2003 05:58 PM